Donzilla Retreats!

Last week the longtime terror of Guemes Island residents announced his decision to return to the stygian depths. He is preceded in retirement by former horror show star, Ted Anderson. For nearly a decade they came out of the sea to terrorize, flame, and hold up to mainland scorn the independent spirits on Guemes Island.

Donzilla, who prefers the more formal Mr. Donzilla, will be remembered for his towering presence and ability to cross the Guemes Channel at all hours, never limited by the traditional six-o’clock ferry runs. His periodic forays left deep footprints into Guemes Island, which some say brought increasing levels of saltwater into the island’s wells.

Mr. Donzilla was a hard worker in his capacity to lay waste to Guemes rural character. He was never an observer of regular zoning rules, and frequently went out of his way to incinerate, with his famous hot breath, warehouses full of planning documents. “The only entity that can control growth is the property owner, unless I breathe in the wrong direction,” Mr. Donzilla was fond of saying.

We wish Mr. Donzilla well in his future. His cinematic exploits will always be remembered as bringing Guemes Islanders together in rare common cause.

Commentary by Tim Rosenhan [3.21.8]