Rumors and Other Flying Things

By Uncle Guemes

Rumors are "true." The efficacy of rumors is well known among the students of folklore. Whether or not a rumor is based on actual fact, it always expresses something true. The fears of a social group, the desires, hopes, prejudices, guilt and embarrassment may all be displayed through rumor. Paying attention to rumors is not a waste of time, and this column will attempt to document the most interesting rumors that are born and evolve on Guemes.

Some rumors of recent vintage:

• A rag-top Rolls Royce was sighted on Guemes, being driven by a Hollywood mogul. Doubtless Guemes will soon be the setting for a major motion picture.

• The Reverend Moon did not provide working capital for American Sea Vegetable, but is poised to buy the company as soon as the nori farm receives the required permits.

• Several wells on Guemes tap into an underground river of pure water that runs from Mt. Baker under Padilla Bay to the island.

• The Navy turns its aircraft toward Guemes because to turn in the other direction would bring the pilots out over the admiral's house and officer's housing.

• A wealthy Guemes property owner has money invested in aquaculture.

• The San Juan Islands Marine Sanctuary Committee decided to exclude Guemes from its proposal for designation of the San juans as a marine sanctuary of national significance, due to its proximity to the refineries on Fidalgo Island.

• The County is planning to extend ferry service to evenings on week days.

• The County Planning Department exercises an unofficial policy of approving variances to all property owners who wish to subdivide their property below the 5-acre limit.

• A stranger was seen wandering around Guemes Mountain with a map to a development that does not currently exist, complete with roads, sidewalks, fire hydrants, etc.

• Major aquifers on Guemes contain fossilized water from the retreat of the glaciers 15,000 years ago.

• An area developer plans to build condos on Guemes.

- Fall 1989